No earrings !!!

I'm a 23 brazilian girl and i've discovered this site by looking for scoliosis news. I decided to tell my story to all of you as I realized you all like braces.

PS: FIRST I NEED TO SAY THAT I'M A PORTUGUESE SPEAKER, SO SORRY FOR WRONG WORDS OR SOME BAD MEANING. i'LL TRY TO DO MY BEST!!!!

Well, through all my teen age, I had a big panic of photos, images, mirror and all that stuff. I got a clear reason for that: I've been wearing a Milwaukee brace for almost 5 years.. It was for need and I know it's hard enough to make you sad and really upset.

Brace user's are always on focus. People even those who just "take a look" and specially the cruel kind that in fact stare at you, they all think about the brace thing. I don't know what they wonder about it, but now, being off, I can say this experience adds to you courage and force.

Sometimes, I take my brace out of the cabinet ( no, I don't miss it ...) and remember that period of my life, some years ago, not too far, but really dificult. It was really a complicaed period for a girl because our world is too visual: images have more value than words or unfortunelly feelings.

I worn a tradicional Milwaukee brace from 12 to 17 ( a big time...) . It was the usual type with throat mold, neck ring, chin pad ( that's the worst piece of any brace, isn't it???) and some bands and pads all along on the 3 steel bars. My girdle was made of plastic which I think is easier for cleaning.

My parents took me to a surgeon when I was 11. At the age of 12 , I had my brace on. I remember exactaly the doctor's words: " No more time to lose, let's put a brace in your back." A brace? What is that ? Of course, I had a very small idea of that. But when you see someone braced, you don't image how it really is. The doctor told us to come again next day to have a better view of my case, to discuss about my future braces and how it works. My old brother told me: "You gonna be horrible, like a metal robot, it's ridiculous...

Coming back from the doctor was sad. i didn't said a word. I didn't belive I had to wear a brace. Mom told me she would support me. we talked a lot, she tried to show me it won't be the end of the world.

But nobody could change reality. My curve was in 24 degrees and my treatment would be long and hard to keep on: 23 hours daily , period of 3 to 5 years. The mesuraments were all taken, week later my brace was done, waiting for me.

I remember Mom and I at the clinic. There were also 2 boys with their parents in the waiting room. One was carring a x-ray and wearing a brace. He seems to be very happy and to be well with the brace on. Mom made me realise for first time that the brace isn't a problem ( using the boy as a prove ).But I was afraid.

First, I've learned how to put my brace and the adjusts that must be respected. Maria, the nurse took me alone with her and we spent an hour talking, she's got experience with scoliotic pacients. I finally put it on by me and also had put all my clothes , when the door opened: it was Mom.She opened a big smile and looking to me, she said: " You look great darling, trust me, you are ok." Then, the doctor told me that we need to check up the curve to have control of my scoliosis.That was the start.......

The brace structure, specially the neck ring it self has two diferent "powers". Althought it "protects" you, it also "expose".Let me explain my ideas of the brace thing:
1) First idea: protection-The neck ring in it's funcion makes you look always straight ahead, no head or neck moves are allowed. Ok, by this way , you can't see people's reaction, of course some of them turn and keep looking and me, just because I worn a brace.Thousands of time I've felt that ( as most brce users do). By the way, can't move, can't see, so it doesn't matter, try to abort, be strong and go on, move...
2) Second idea: expose - As being in a very rigid position you must stare and face everyone who looks in front of you. When you don't wear a brece, it's simple: you just look away , don't face.It was not my case!!!So I made my mind to be happy and normal with mu brace on.

Don't try to lie to yourself, it will be cruel. I never had an ilusion that I could totally hide my neck brace. Of course not!!! It comes from pelvis to chin, impossible to be full covered. It was there, it must be for my benefit. Loose dresses, pants and large t-shirts were my basic uniform. I had to change my conception of dressing, even my own style. I love tops but I never went out of my house on a tank top. I remember that all my friends were starting to put on tops because of the growing of the breasts, they all were pround of that, as a signal of getting older and getting boyfriends. I felt very shy because my breasts were really bigger than the other's girls. But, I couldn't show my "advantage" because of the brace.

I really took a long time for me to agree with the idea of no more beach days. Allmy friends after classes went on the beach and I had to be in my brace. In the start, I usually stayed at home because in my mind I couldn't be there: it's a place to be in a bikini, to swin and play, things I really enjoy. But some friends started to ask for my presence. So I put on my shorts and my t-shirt and went on.I had no diving, no bikini, but I felt good of not being apart of my friends. I Liked to seat on a chair, take some sun, talk, have some fun. My brace won't took me these plesuares. A brace puts limits on your life but it doesn't let you apart of nothing.

I love big earings, specially those which comes down to the chin. Forget about !!! Think: less is more...( you already got a very unusual thing). It also works for neck laces, tight blouses and make-up. Remember, less sometimes means more....

I got 2 facts that were important like lessons that I've learned: I can't forget them!!!!!!! 1
) I wasn't very used to my brace, I always sat on the last desk of the class, beside the wall( to avoid looking). One pen, fallen from my hand and it was near but dificult to caught( specially by the neck ring). A boy , next seat offered his help, but I said: " No, that's ok, I'll take it." I had an "adventure"to rescue my pen, had to be on my kness, to force my neck and so on.It must had been easier if I accepted the fact that a help is necessary and normal. People don't help you because they think your are totally unable. It's just a gently way of treatment. Accept. think that some people also have plesuare to be kind, not to be sorrow....

2)Being in a fully place, there was a girl carring a wool coat. We had few space to walk. While she was coming behind me, her coat's collar stuck on a screw of my neck ring!!!! Could you belive that????? She got really embarassed, everybody looked to us. I think some strng things can happen, try to make fun, to have sense of humor. Don't punish yourself and never think that you got bad luck or I've been born to suffer. HOLD ON YOUR BRACE AND KEEP IT ON!!!! BELIVE ME, IT WORKS.

pbraganca@zipmail.com.br

Paloma from Rio de Janeiro - Brazil