"Help - 1"

This story will be coming to you from two different perspectives mine and my husband's. First thing that you should know is that my husband is a doctor of orthopedics. He deals with everything from casting broken bones to performing surgery on deformed bones. We are financially well off, which would explain the story that I am about to tell you.

I would do almost anything for my husband. But, I wish I knew now what I should have known then. My husband, Rob, needed test subjects for a new type of procedure that he was developing, so he said. Reluctantly, I agreed to be apart of his test, little did I know that I would be giving up about three and a half years of my life.

It was a Monday morning when I walked into Rob's office. He was very happy to see me. Happier than usual I must say. Up to this point I had little to know clue of what Rob's plans would be for me. Because he was my husband I trusted him. He explained that I would be placed in a body cast that went from just below my knees to my neck. OK, I was not happy, but he assured me that I would be fine. He went on to explain that this test was to see how long term casting and later bracing would effect the human existence. At this point, I said no. But he was somewhat hurt, and I felt bad saying no to my husband. So finally after he explained the rest of the procedure I reluctantly said yes. Rob, agreed that the experiment would run for only a couple of weeks. (YEAH, right)

My agreement sparked everything into motion. Rob called for a nurse. She walked in to the office with a wheelchair. She asked me to sit in it and then she would be taking me down to the casting room.

When we reached the casting room, I was amazed at the braces and equipment that it would take to encase me in fiberglass. The nurse then asked me undress completely and lay on the metal table in the middle of the room. She went on to explain that Rob and several other doctors would be coming into the room and starting their work. The nurse left me alone to undress. I quickly undressed, and then found a blanket to cover myself with. I laid on the table and let the blanket fall over me. About five minutes later, Rob and two other doctors that I had never met walked into through the door.

Rob introduced me to his colleagues. Dr. Stevenson and Dr. Collarmen were the doctors that would be assisting Rob in his experiment. They explained how happy they were that I had decided to be apart of this medical experiment. I then felt a hard prick into my hip. Later, I was informed that it was a syringe filled with a very strong sedative. Because the next thing I remember, is a noise of a machine in a large hospital room. To my discovery it was a ventilator, and I WAS HOOKED UP TO IT. I tried to open my mouth to scream, but I could not. There was a tube coming out of my mouth and my lips were taped shut. When I tried to swallow, I realized that it too was impossible. There was another tube that had gone down my throat to my lungs.

Stupid me tried to sit up. But remember I was in a complete body cast. That was impossible. My final revelation was that my head hurt. Then Rob walked in and said,

"Hi Beth, I am glad to see that you are awake. You are probably wondering what is going on. Well after we encased you, we decided to go a little further on our experiment. You are in a complete body cast. Also, on your head is a halo brace. This brace forced us to drill into your skull. Your head is encircled with a metal circle, which has four metal columns extending from it. You are also probably wondering why you are on a ventilator? Well, yours lungs started to breath shallowly, and we did want you to experience pulmonary failure. Beth, in order for you to communicate, you will be asked a bunch of questions. You will blink your eyes once for no and twice for yes. I promise that you will not be in situation for long. Also, we are feeding you intravenously. There is also a catheter that will drain out the waste products. If you feel any discomfort at all you will probably have to endure it, until a nurse comes in. They will come in an move you about every half in hour. Are you in any pain right now?"

Two blinks.

"Where your head?"

Two blinks.

"OK, after a while you will not notice it. I will come to see you as often as I can. From what Dr. Collarmen, Dr. Stevenson, and I decided was that you would spend several weeks in the bed with the brace and the cast. Then from there will start your recovery. Do you understand?"

Two blinks.

A couple of weeks turned into a couple of months. Basically, I spent two months in a drug induced coma, and it had not been done by my own accord. I am say that I would never put myself intentionally put myself in that state, but my husband, the man that I trusted lied to me. Later, my husband informed me that it was to reduce the amount of pain I was in.

However, after a few days I was taken off the ventilator, and I was then able to breathe on my own. I could even talk, but that was not as easy as you might think. Because I was kept heavily sedated. Rob, came to visit me frequently, but I was usually either coming out of or going into a drug induced sleep. Finally, one day I awoke from my drug induced coma to find myself sitting up in a wheelchair. This was an unusual feeling, for me, just because I had laid in a hospital bed in a complete body cast and halo brace, so long. Even though, I had some movement in my body, I was still being held captive by artificial means. My torso was erected by a new soft clamshell. It was made from a thick durable cotton material that combined several steel rods which were incorporated within the brace. My back was completely straight and rigid. My was neck however, was remarkably flexible. There was nothing that inhibited movement to my neck. However, the clamshell kept me from moving, which was much more difficult in the wheelchair.

This wheelchair was different from anything that I had ever witnessed. From what I could see from the mirror that Rob and his colleagues had added to the sterile white hospital wall. Rob had stated that he wanted me to become accustomed to my new situation. Anyway, the chair looked much like a motorized chair, but it was not. It was made of heavy duty, black titanium alloy. The chair itself was a high back, which basically means that the back of the chair came up to about the nap of my neck. The arm rests were large enough for my hands to be strapped down, much like what happens at a cattle roping contest. The cow's legs are tied together to ensure that the animal does not try to escape. My hands lay flat on the rests, then wrist braces are applied, then the restraints are strapped on all the way up my arms. My legs were immobilized by two knee braces that were locked at a 90º angle. It was literally impossible to bend or straighten my legs without someone unlocking the braces. If I struggled the restraints seemed to get tighter, and more uncomfortable. Everything that I would usually do for myself was being done for me. Nurses would come in every couple of hours to drain my catheter bag. I was being spoon fed a special diet, and I was moved to and from the bed. I was also bathed but not like I would do myself. The nurse would come and remove the braces and the restraints, and lay me flat on a waterproof gurney, then push me down the hall where, I was watched like a dish at a fast food restaurant. I was, basically, forced to be an invalid. Yet, my husband said that was the best way.

Anyway, back to the diet. Oh, that diet was special. I was not allowed to eat very much. Most of the meals consisted of Jell-O, toast, cottage cheese (Which I loath), apple juice, and lots and lots of water. If I refused any of the food, I was still forced to gag it down. I was told that they did not want me to gain any weight, and early on I had difficulty holding anything down, so I was told.

One morning after I had been in what was called stage two, the wheelchair phase, as my husband called it, Rob came in to talk to me.

"Good Morning Beth, I am glad to see you are awake. I guess you are probably wondering what is going on? Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will stay physical therapy soon, to regain any mobility that you have lost. For which I am sorry for, but your help has been proven to be invaluable. Again, I am sorry that this has taken longer than originally thought, but here comes the bad news. Upon our tests, we have found a problem with your spine. There is a curvature in your spine that is abnormal. We are half way surprised that this has not been noticed until now. The actual medical term for this is Scolosis. For most people it is not a serious problem, but since you are an adult, we must treat it. Honey, I love you, and this is why we have kept you in the dark for so long. I know that you are probably mad at me, but I did not want to see you get hurt."

"Rob, I do not understand. What does a curvature of the spine have to do with the cruel experiment that you have chosen to do on me? Am I going to get out of this chair? Also, am I in restraints, why?"

"Beth, the experiment was to see what would happen to a person's body if they were healthy, but yet immobilized voluntarily. I did explain that to you that morning in the office. Yes, you are going to get out the chair, in fact, today. The restraints were so that you would not hurt yourself, when you were sedated. We did not know that you suffered from this condition until we ran some tests on you. The diagnosis would explain why that you have been having such problems with your back. Had it been diagnosed why you were a child there would be no need for the treatment that I am about to prescribe. Please, do not hate me."

"Honey, I do not hate you, but I have known that there has been a problem. When I was a child mom and dad took me to the doctor, he informed us that I had Scolosis. But, mom and dad did not understand that this was this serious, so they did nothing about it. Rob, Please tell what are the treatments?"

"Beth, We have tried to put you in a body cast with the hopes that your spine would correct itself. But, unfortunately, it did not. The only other thing that we could do without surgery, is for you to wear a back brace. This brace would consist of metal bars, leather straps, a plastic type corset, and soft pads. This brace will not allow you to move your head from side to side. It will also limit the movement of your back. You will basically be a human stick. Sweetie, you will only be allowed to remove this brace for one hour a day. You will wear it to bed, out in public, every thing you do will be affected. If you are ready I will take you down to wear the brace is going to be fitted."

"Wait a second, you have already made the brace?"

"Yes, we have, because there is no other alternative."

"What if I did not agree to the treatment?"

"Beth, I knew that you would have, because I have seen the pain that you have been in for a long time, now. Also, if you did not I was going to have to keep you here longer. Honey, I guess I should tell you the truth. This was not an experiment. I wanted to find out what the problem was, and the only way that you were going to get this checked out was if I forced you to. I am sorry, but I could not bare to see you in this much pain, all the time. I love you, and I want you to be healthy."

"You what…you have force me to endure this, and this was not an experiment it was treatment. The body cast, the restraints, the IV were all part of your treatment? Yes, I am mad, but I guess you were right, I just did not want to deal with this. If I let you put the brace on can I go home?"

"In a couple of days. I am sorry, but you and I always get into an argument over this."

I could hardly speak, I was mad and I was happy that Rob cared so deeply about my health. Anyway what choice did I have? I had known since I was a child that my spinal curvature was abnormal, but I never thought that there would ever cause the pain that I had experienced up to this point. I did not like the fact that Rob had to lie to me, and tell me it was an experiment, when it was not. But, he had also been right, when he said that I would have never go and have it fixed he was right. I hated hospitals, also, I thought that it was not a big deal, I had been in pain since I can remember.

Now, he is wheeling me down to the room where I got my cast on. The room was the same way as it was the day that the cast had gone on. The only other person in the room was a nurse, that I had never met. After, I was in the room Rob positioned the wheelchair next to the examining table. He unlocked the knee braces, and unstrapped the rest of the restraints. WOW!! I had not felt so uninhibited for so long, this was great. Rob, suggested I stand up. I tried, but my legs were weak from the lack of movement. The nurse rushed over to help me to stand. Shortly there after, the brace was being applied to my body. It is now very difficult to explain, the feeling that I had, but here goes. This plastic corset type thing extended from my hips, then wrapped around under my arms. It was then fused together with nylon and leather straps and metal buckles. In the upper part of the chest there was an metal bar that extended to my chin, where at the top was a soft padded cup thing that caressed my chin. From the back of the brace, the plastic corset came up to just about the middle of my head. Then there were three more straps that I soon came to realize would hold my head immobilized. One of the straps extended from the back of the brace around to the forehead. The other two, one was on the left side and the other on the right, forced back of the brace and the chin plate to be connected.

It took about fifteen minutes for Rob and the nurse to install my hardware. Basically, after they were done I could not move my head. Believe me I tried to flex the muscles in my neck, it was impossible. And so was bending my back, it was actually the way Rob said it would be-a human stick. I tried to look around to see Rob's face, but it almost like I was forced to look at the ceiling. It was certainly something that I was going to have get used to.

Finally, I was able to adjust my eyes to get glimpse at Rob. He had a very peculiar look on his face. I was not sure as to whether or not he was relieved that I had agreed to the treatment or if secretly enjoyed watching me turn into a living mummy. I had never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life, but like an inmate sentenced to a prison term, I would have to learn to cope with my captor-the brace.

"OK, honey, how does it feel?"

"Rob, how is it supposed to feel? I can't move my back or my neck. How long do I have to wear this? Indefinitely?"

"Beth, listen, you will be wearing this brace from anywhere from six months to five years. But in your case, probably a couple of years. You are allowed to take the brace off one hour a day, that is it, no more. "

"OK, when will I go home?"

"In about two days, I want you to get used to your very limited movement, and also I want a physical therapist to work with you to do some strengthening of your legs. The therapist will also show you how to adapt to your new situation. I will let you get back to your room now. I have rounds to do, but I will be around to have dinner with you."

That was the best news that I had heard in months-I was going home. Then I realized that I would be taking a souvenir home from this place. The nurse helped me back to my room. I actually walked. I was very slow, my legs felt like the many servings of Jell-O that I had eaten in the past couple of months. But it still felt very good. With the except of the hardware that had been installed on my body. My back had never felt like that before, each step I took the more and more I detested the brace. But, I did realize that if it corrected the deformity in my spine.

Walking down the hall, a small child was standing by his mother. The child made a comment like…Mommy, that lady is like the guy from Robocop. I thought great my life has turned into a freak show. It could be worse…right. At least, I am going home to start my new life…wonder what it will be like.

**This is the first installment of HELP. I hope you enjoyed this story…there will be more to come when I come up with it.