The Change

Chapter 2

It was a bad night, it’s not enough that I have to think about all that had happened, it thunder-stormed too. Boy is Bozo, my dog, in for a surprise if I go through with this. Bozo has no trouble with me wearing dresses, but a whole new body, that might throw him a bit. Maybe I should make him into a girl too - that would be a little surprise for him.

Well, it’s five thirty, time to roll out of bed, let Bozo out, and go paint the Mona Lisa - or perhaps just put my make up on. Bozo’s the only creature in the world that can see me as a man. That’s Dr. Ellis orders. Soon that will be easier because I will be a woman or at least a girl if I can go through with this. A nights sleep, even a bad nights sleep makes a big difference, this idea, the transplant, doesn’t seem as bad or as unreal as it did yesterday.

Oh boy. Need comfortable clothes. My red skirt is pretty good, elastic waist, kind of loose. I can wear my big blue top with the floppy collar, that will be good. Do I dare go without the waist cincher? Why not? it will be OK. A lot of women have big waists, I can too. My penny loafers are new, I thought they would be hard to find but they were easy. Found them at Carson’s at the mall before I went to work yesterday. These shoes really are comfortable. I haven’t worn comfortable shoes in two months.

Check myself in the mirror. Looks good, feels good. Time for that long drive into the city. My bra makes itself known with it’s first poke of the day as I sit down in the car.

Wow! Do I really want to be another person? An eleven year old? in a cast? I don’t even know what I will look like. I like the name "Cynthia" a lot better than "Joanna" I’m certain of at least that much.

I remember that Maureen said that she really hated the brace but it never seemed to bother her much except when she sneezed or something, I think it hurt her then. Well, I will know about that part soon enough. When I am eleven years old I will have to get around without my car. I haven’t ridden a bicycle in better than twenty years. I will be in a body cast too, probably won’t be able to ride a bicycle. Oh sure I will. Maureen rode a bike in her brace! Has to be about the same thing. I need to ask what color my eyes will be. I don’t even know who to ask. Dr. Ellis I guess. God, are you listening? Their sure is a lot too this, why couldn’t you just make me a girl in the first place?

I need to make a list of questions for next session with Dr. Ellis, I just can’t remember everything when I need it. It’s all important too. I suppose, what I should do is just damn the torpedoes, and full speed ahead. If Joanna can be an eleven year old, I can be an eleven year old. I think the age thing really bothers me. Sure I get to live almost thirty years over again, but then do I go senile at forty and drool in my Cheerio’s for the next forty years? Nobody knows what their future really is. I need to take it day by day as it is given.

I made better time than I thought I would. Got a bad parking space today, I guess all the employees are coming in for the morning at eight o’clock. I’m in penny loafers today so the extra walk will be OK. The elevator is full of people, it stops at every floor. I think some guy felt up my bottom. I don’t really like it. I always thought the girls liked that sort of thing. Hope I am going to be normal. Add that to the Ellis questions note.

"Cynthia Martin" I am called into the second waiting room again. "Hi I am David Prost. Sharon wants me to go over a few things with you"

"OK David Prost". If I don’t say their names right away I forget them. "what do we need?"

"First you need to know the cost of the brace. Your medical will not cover it, I already checked, and it will be a little better than fourteen hundred dollars. If you are going to back out of this, now is the time to do it."

"No, I need to do this". Again I don’t know if I am trying to convince him or me.

"Dr. Ellis said that we need to do something a bit unusual for you. It is normal to make a cast of the patient as a mold for the brace. He wants us to make a second cast for you to wear until the brace is ready. Is that all right with you?"

"How long will it take to make the brace?" I ask.

"About three weeks, but Dr. Ellis wants you in the cast for six weeks before you get your brace"

I hadn’t thought of that. I don’t know if I can face six weeks in a body cast. so I say "can I think about this for a few days?"

"Oh I think Dr. Ellis wants this right away"

"It has to be OK then. I guess"

"Good, sign your life away here, and I will take you to see Sharon. Make a stop at the little room with the great bubbling crock in it. Sharon wants you on "E" before we start this."

"Great bubbling crock?"

"Politically correct for the crapper sweetie" David informs me.

Business taken care of, David leads me down a short hall and into another room. He then instructs me to disrobe and wait for Sharon.

"Good morning Miss Martin" Sharon says cheerily after only about a five minute wait. "First I need for you to put on this stockinette" she says as she hands me what looks like a gauze tube. "Just slip it over your head, Very good" she makes that sound like dog training. She pulls and tucks the stockinette in it’s place, roughly from my eyebrows to my mid thighs, cuts holes for my arms and then says "now I am going to hang you"

"Oh I can hardly wait for this" I say just as sarcastically as I can.

"It’s not that bad. Just step over here to the rack"

"Rack?"

"Sure honey, welcome to the world of Scoliosis. You don’t even have it yet but Joanna sure does. You wanted to see what you are in for didn’t you? Actually this is probably the worst part of it and it will be over as soon as the plaster sets up enough." Sharon continues with her instructions. "OK that’s good. Turn around. Good. Slip your feet into the stirrups please."

I was wondering what those were for. This is quite a contraption. As soon as my feet are set she ties them into the stirrups with eight Velcro straps. "I wasn’t really planning to run away."

"Now I know you won’t. I haven’t lost one since I started tying them up first" she said, sounding just a bit too pleased to be doing this. "This is a head halter." She brought another device out of a drawer. "Hold this part under your chin for me please" She strapped another part under the back of my head and buckled them tightly together. "Now we get to the serious part." The head halter started pulling my head up. "Don’t fight it honey. Just relax. It’s OK not much more."

"This hurts"

"Don’t try to talk. You need to trust me on this, it is not really going to be all that bad"

Nobody told me about this. I think she is trying to lift me by my head.

"Oh damn" I said objecting to the pain.

"Don’t talk. We can talk a lot when you are released. Their! That’s it, sixty pounds of traction. Like I told you, RACK, I learned to do this back in my sixth life during the Spanish Inquisition."

"Oh my g"

"Don’t talk!. Don’t move your head, it will just make it worse for you"

I think that’s probably just what she said during the Inquisition too. I can’t really talk anyway.

"Now raise your right arm. - Other right. That’s good. I am going to put a cuff on it so I can apply light traction." Now I feel that pulling too but not nearly as much. "Good. Now your first right. - OK Thank you. Just relax. Let the weights hold you, don’t try to move and don’t stiffen up either. I am going to let you adjust to the traction for a few minutes then I will come back and apply the cast. Don’t run off honey."

Maureen must have gone through this. Poor Maureen, God I used to tease her about wearing the brace. I called her "back brace girl," everybody did. She never told us about this. I don’t think I would have believed it if she did. I guess I deserve this. No, I don’t, I haven’t committed that many sins yet. What I should do is stop this process right now and go the conventional route to reassignment.

"OK Cynthia" Sharon comes bursting in sounding like she is conducting an exercise class. "Now for the messy part" She opens the cupboard door and produces a bucket. "We have here an ordinary bucket, I am filling it with ordinary hot water" as she puts it in the sink and turns the water on. "Notice, hot on the left just like it is supposed to be. It wasn’t like that when this place was new, it drove me banana’s." If I could talk I couldn’t argue with that, something shure as hell drove her banana’s. She unwrapped a roll of plaster bandage dipped it in the bucket and squeezed it out. "Now for the magic. This will feel a little warm, I am starting just below your butt. - I wrap it around, and around, and around and Viola! it will turn into rock. Not rock and roll mind you but real rock, like stone"

She must be on drugs. It is very, very tight. It feels tighter as she gets more plaster bandage and works her way up. "Don’t talk, that’s what I am for, don’t move, just relax, it is going to feel tight, it’s supposed to be. It’s already starting to harden. You will be off the rack soon, you should know it’s really called a traction frame I just call it the rack to scare you. I usually do this for children, it’s God awful for them I wish I had a better way."

Sharon just keeps working and chattering for about another twenty minutes until I am in plaster to just below my lips and ears. She won’t be able to remove the head halter she has sealed it in with everything else.

"OK we have a mummy" Sharon says as she stands back to admire her work. " I just have to smooth it out now" and she rubs me all over with her hands. Problem number one with wearing a body cast, you can get a really good back rub, front rub too and not feel it, what a waste.

"I need to fold this down" She folds the stockinette down from my face. "and finish it out. OK now for the bottom. Done. That wasn’t so bad was it? Don’t talk, don’t move, don’t do anything for a while. It needs a few minutes to set up hard and I can let you out of the rack, then you can talk. But you still won’t be able to move. - See ya."

With that she walked out the door. She forgot don’t breathe, I’m not doing well in that department either. I never had anything like this in my life. I am not going to do this. As soon as I can get loose I am going to call Dr. Ellis and put an end to this. I can’t spend years in a body cast I will go nuts. No wonder Joanna tried to commit suicide. This has to be horrible for a ten year old. If I get mixed up in this I don’t know what I will do.

After what seemed like forever Sharon came in again. "Had enough? Don’t talk, I am sure you have had enough. I had to tell David about your situation because I need him to help me get you out of this." She opened the door and said "OK David you can come in now"

"I am going to release you now, first your arms, then head, remember your feet are still in the stirrups, David will hold you up while I release your feet. OK ready, left arm, right arm, I will relieve traction slowly on the head halter, don’t try to walk. Got her David? "

"I feel dizzy, this thing is too tight, I can hardly breathe" I find it is still an effort to talk.

"That’s good, it means that I have done it right, David will support you while I cut the mold off"

They both worked, Sharon with a little electric saw, and David with some kind of a clipper to release me from the cast. David wrote my name on both halves with a marker. When they were done Sharon said "Cynthia. Why don’t you sit down for a while before we do the cast that you will wear".

"I think I have had all the cast I need to say that I don’t want to do this anymore thank you"

Sharon sat down next to me and said. "I know this seems a bit rough, it is. But once we take you off the traction frame you, like most people, will probably adjust very well." She took my hand and continued. "Look you can stay in the program if you don’t do this, but you will most likely give it up. That would be a big mistake for you. This is a chance that no one else ever had. You will become a lovely girl and then a beautiful woman. Joanna is going to be a knock out. I can tell you for sure that being beautiful is great, I love the way I look and you will too.

I reply "This is just getting to be too much."

Sharon continues. "Look, I had some problems growing up too. I wore a Milwaukee brace from the time I was nine, until I was twenty. That is how I got into this business. It was disabling, uncomfortable, and ugly. I hated wearing it, but I was happy in it, I did most of what I wanted to do and I lived pretty well. I was in the brace for my birthday’s, my proms, when I started college, and when my husband proposed to me. It was all wonderful, even with the brace on. It will be for you too. After we were married I had quite a surprise when Jack, my husband, told me that the brace was a major turn on for him. Now I still wear it in private for him. It just isn’t all bad. It will be well worth the trouble for the new life that will be yours"

"This really is a remarkable thing isn’t it."

"Yes, and important too, you will be part of a research project that has enormous implications. No one knows what the potential of this is. Spinal cord Injuries have already been repaired. We may be able to cure a lot of mental and nervous conditions, possibly reprogram criminals to be useful responsible members of society. Maybe correct Alzheimer’s victims and dozens of things no one has even thought of yet. If you don’t do this someone else will and they will be an important part of this effort."

"Can you find a healthy twenty-five to forty-five year old to trade bodies with?"

"Their are compatibility problems. You and Joanna fit. You and our other potential candidates don’t. Someone else may show up tomorrow or never.

Never is more likely"

"Why are you so interested in this ?"

"I’m with the project. I am one of the spinal cord repairs. A truck rear ended my car six months ago and my neck was broken. Dr. Mahmood was their when I was brought in. I was in the right place at the right time and very lucky. I could not breathe on my own when I was brought in, I should have died, but I never even experienced a disability. I wore a simple neck brace for six weeks and I was done with it. That makes me a strong believer. When this process is ready for widespread use, what was done for me will be available to everybody."

"Who is Dr. Mahmood ?"

Sharon explains. "When he was a medical student here he discovered that nerve cells could be modified by small electrical charges. He started all of this"

"Well for you - and Dr. Mahmood I am ready when you are"